The Grand Palais, which functions mainly as a space for special events and exhibitions – currently, one about the English painter J.-M. Turner and his contemporaries – is also one of the main habitats for a fascinating French species, the Exhibitionist Retiree.
- Habitat: the Exhibitionist Retiree appears year-round in buildings dedicated to special exhibitions, such as the Grand Palais.
- Description: It is difficult to distinguish between the male and the female of the species, as they have identical coloring (white hair and beige coats) and dimensions (five feet tall). The easiest way to sex the Exhibitionist Retiree is to observe their behavior: females cluster in an inner ring around an exhibited painting, while their mates form a defensive outer ring. This herding pattern means that the painting in question is completely protected from the view of any outsiders. Any attempts to penetrate the circles will result in muttered insults or crushed ribcages (the Exhibitionist Retiree is fragile).
- Species Differentiation: The French Exhibitionist Retiree is different from the New York Exhibitionist Retiree, which is much rarer and also has a much shorter attention span. Thus, the New York Exhibitionist Retiree will show herding behavior only for paintings in the first few rooms of a special exhibition, leaving the other rooms visible, while the French Exhibitionist Retiree will not wander away from their posts so easily. Oh, no.
In short – I hate special exhibitions in Paris.
